#40: Why Trying to Love Yourself Isn’t Working – and What Actually Does


Why does loving yourself still feel hard — even when you’re really trying?

If affirmations, mindset work, and self-improvement haven’t helped you feel genuine self-love, there’s a reason. Especially during the holiday season, comparison with images of perfect families and harmony can trigger feelings of unworthiness and self-judgment.

In this episode, you’ll hear why self-love cannot be created through the mind, what actually shifts when awareness moves into the heart, and why true self-love becomes unconditional when you stop trying to earn it.

This episode is for you if you’re tired of working on yourself and want self-love to feel natural instead of forced.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps

00:51 - Why the holiday season can trigger feelings of unworthiness
How comparison with “perfect family” images turns into self-judgment.

02:47 - Why trying to love yourself often backfires
How effort-based self-love creates pressure instead of relief.

05:13 - The belief that postpones self-love into the future
“Once I’m better, healed, calmer, or more successful…”

08:14 - The core reason self-love doesn’t work
Why the mind cannot create love - no matter how positive your thoughts are.

10:00 - The real shift that changes everything
What happens when awareness moves from the mind into the heart.

13:29 - Experiencing self-love without earning it
A simple heart-centered moment that dissolves inner pressure.

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